As women, there are specific seasons that most of us will go through in our lives, like singleness, marriage and motherhood.
Each of these seasons presents definite changes and if we embrace them fully, allowing God to lead us, we’ll find joy and clarity in all of them and grow to become more like Him.
Titus 2:3-5 gives us a beautiful picture of community at work. Older women (not just in age but maturity) are teaching younger women to be better wives and moms.
“They (older women) are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands…”
The rest of verse 5 says:
… so that the word of God may not be reviled (criticized)
Our marriages, parenting and even our singleness – can be a shining light to a world that’s watching and desperately needs Jesus.
I’m so grateful for all the women that have played a part in encouraging and directing me in these different seasons. I believe I’m a better wife and mom due to many of these incredible women!
I would love to share a few things I’ve learnt along the way:
To the teens (or moms with teens):
Knowing your identity in Christ is the most important thing in this season of your life. Knowing who God says you are as His daughter needs to be a solid foundation on which you build.
I wish I knew God as a teenager since I had very low self-confidence and many insecurities. I definitely wouldn’t stand up for myself and often got teased.
How you see yourself influences everything in your life, including the choices you make. If our identities aren’t based on who we are in Jesus then they’ll be based on our experiences, how people treat us, or the values we’ve adopted from things such as movies or social media.
The world is automatically discipling our children. Social media is ‘preaching a message’ to them and it’s not based on truth!
The Bible is full of verses about our identity, showing us how loved and valuable we are to Him.
- 1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession.
You’ll find so many treasures in His word, revealing powerful truths about who you are as His beloved daughter.
Dads have such an important role to play in their daughters’ lives in this season, showing them that they’re valued and affirmed.
If they’re not finding affirmation from their fathers then they’ll try to find affirmation in unhelpful places. Dads need to teach their daughters about things like dating, how boys think, personal boundaries, etc.
I know that you might not have had the best father growing up. Maybe they’ve been absent or abusive but our Heavenly Father is faithful and can still reveal himself to you as a Good Father.
God can also show us His Father’s heart through other ‘father figures’ in our church communities. I’ve learnt so much from many faith-filled dads that have encouraged and led me as a newly-saved single girl in the church. I’m so grateful for them!
As parents we need to have ongoing conversations about sexual purity, teaching our teens about God’s design for sex. There’s a reason why He wants us to wait for marriage and it’s not because He’s a killjoy! The boundaries of marriage bring security and fullness of life.
To the young adults:
Enjoy the season of being single and having extra time before marriage and kids come along!
Use your time wisely, get to know God more, and study His word. Stop waiting for marriage to step into God’s call for your life. He can use you right now!
Sexual purity is doable! You can be sexually pure with God’s help.
- 2 Peter 1:3 says:
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him.
He’s given you supernatural power to walk this season out with purity through knowing Him.
To those who are dating, always put God first before your relationship. After a year of dating Mark, we both realized our relationship was a bit rocky. Our life group leader challenged us to separate for a few months to seek God’s will for our relationship.
We took time off from seeing each other so that we could focus on what God wanted for us.
God was faithful and directed us to come back together and give our relationship another chance. This time we decided to put God first above each other. We made ourselves accountable and navigated our relationship with purity.
Our relationship needs to add to who we are and not take away from who God calls us to be. A bad dating relationship will not produce a good marriage.
Perhaps God wants you to end this season before it becomes permanent. He is faithful and kind and knows who is best for you.
In the seasons of singleness and dating, put God first and trust Him to lead you into the more that He has for you.
Next week’s blog will cover marriage and motherhood and how to navigate these seasons, trusting God’s faithfulness through them both.