As 2022 quickly becomes a distant memory and the new year looms ahead like a blank canvas just waiting to be filled, if you are anything like me, you will be quick to eagerly start making mental notes of the things you want to do and change in the next 12 months. Exercise as much as I watch, drink less coke and eat more green vegetables (that one is my wife’s request).
I have always been challenged and stirred by the quote, “my greatest fear is not failure but that I will be the same this time next year”, but often in our pursuit of doing more and more, we can often miss out on a better agenda, that of being more. With that being said, I have decided to change my long list of to-do’s and replace them with a much more digestible 3 things that I want to be.
- BE PRESENT
In this world of iPhones and galaxies, apps, reels to be watched, pictures to be liked and tweets to be favourited, it often seems that we are having less and less time for real-life connections. And the few times we are together with the people who matter, the endless vibrating, pinging and reminders coming from our phone can end up creating the false reality of thinking we are in community all the while missing out on building deeper relationships with those directly around us. My aim this year is not to fall into this trap and to trade the swiping and clicking for actively listening and responding with interest. Whether this is with our children, our spouses, in our workplaces or in our social settings, I believe all our relationships will flourish as they push past the superficial level and go deeper. The social media community definitely pushes us wider in our reach of friendships, but face-to-face real connecting still comes up trumps in developing authentic relationships. So this year, my phone is out of reach and on silent at meal times, switched off when I’m with my family and staying in my pocket when I’m in meetings. My wife and kids, friends and colleagues will be thrilled to have my full attention. Will you join me in making this resolution to be actively engaged and present?
- BE CONSISTENT
I am a firm believer that what separates good leaders from great leaders, good spouses from great spouses, good parents from great parents and good employees from great employees often is not whether they can do the job or not, but whether they can do it consistently. In my desire to be more consistent and reliable, this year I want to let my “yes” be my “yes” and my “no” be my “no”. I can be a notorious “yes man” at times, but I have slowly realised that people don’t want my yes, instead they want me to be truthful. Too often I over-promise and under-deliver and that can very quickly lead to frustration in almost any form of relationship. Dads and moms, don’t promise your kids the world but then never follow through with it. We sometimes buy into the lie from Hollywood that the grand gesture wins over the girl, the crowds or the boss’ approval. In reality, it’s the less flashy but much more rewarding consistency that allows relationships of all kinds to thrive. Be consistent in the words of affirmation that you speak over your spouse and children. Be consistent in your energy levels at work.
- BE PRAYING
I once heard a man say that prayerlessness is a sign that you don’t trust God. What an indictment! Too often I transpose my desire to do more onto my walk with God, and very quickly I find myself falling short and getting down that yet again I haven’t lived up to my resolution and promises to Him. This year I am avoiding that trap by resolving to be a man of prayer, not just when I am getting anxious at all the things I need to get done, but as a proactive step in becoming more like Christ.